‘You are so strong I don’t know how you do it’
‘I couldn’t do what you do’
‘How do you keep going’
If I had £1 for every time I have heard one of these phrases I wouldn’t be sat here surrounded by odd socks that are looking for their soul mates!
Each and every time one of these phrases is said it’s said out of love, out of a sense of caring. But how are you actually supposed to respond to them? What are you actually supposed to say in return? Thanks? I know I’m super human, my cape is in the wash? 😂
It’s not strength…..it’s survival. It’s not having another choice, it’s some days literally taking one hour at a time and just being thankful that when my head finally hits the pillow at night I have kept us safe and alive for another day.
When I became a Mummy never in my wildest dreams did I think I would also be taking on the role of 24 hour carer, nurse, pharmacist, advocate, researcher and so many more things.
The cold hard reality of that ‘strength’ is that I have no choice but to keep going. Waking up and deciding I’m not doing this any more isn’t an option. No matter how tired, how broken, how completely done with this situation I am….I have to keep going and I have to keep telling myself it will get better.
It’s not strength….it’s survival, it’s not a sprint….it’s a marathon, slow and steady, keep your eyes fixed ahead and don’t allow yourself to think of all those hills up ahead. So you see whilst I absolutely appreciate when people take the time to acknowledge the ‘job’ I am doing, it kind of makes me feel like a bit of a fraud. Inside I’m not strong, I am beaten and I am broken by everything life has thrown at me in the last 6 years. When you tell me I am strong and I respond by telling you I’m not, that’s not me being modest or shy. That’s me momentarily dropping that guard that I have put up and letting you in on the truth.
It’s not strength…..it’s simply survival